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	[ Print this article ][ Send this article ] Creative Blessings: A Way to Bless and Inspire Your Children by Tamara Cohen One of my warmest memories of the Shabbat (Sabbath) table in my house growing up is of being blessed by my parents on Friday nights. My parents always added names to the traditional list of "May you be like Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah." They wanted to offer their daughters a larger horizon by blessing us with the names of women who had public lives as well as private ones, women who are remembered not only or primarily as mothers, but also as leaders of Israel. While my parents' additions did enhance my sense of possibility for my place in the world, I still grew up relatively impoverished when it came to Jewish women role models.The libraries in our home and day school simply did not have enough books by and about Jewish women. Too few existed anywhere. This has changed drastically, thanks to the hard work of many feminist historians and biblical scholars. The challenge is to ensure that access to this newly re-discovered knowlege about Jewish women reaches far beyond the academy, into the homes of Jewish boys and girls who still need to know that they can be blessed ­ not only like Ephraim, Menasseh, Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah ­ but also like Rebecca Gratz, Lillian Wald, Rose Schneiderman and Henrietta Szold. Tradition According to tradition, after lighting the candles on Friday night, parents bless their children. To bless boys, the Biblical blessing "God make you like Ephraim and Menasseh" is invoked. For girls, Ephraim and Menasseh are replaced with the foremothers Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah. Suggestions: Whether or not you light candles or sit down to a Shabbat dinner, think about ways to incorporate an expanded idea about blessing into your life. Add to the list of names you use to bless boys and girls. Choose historical women (and men) that you or your children have learned about and admired. Or make this the context for learning about new historical figures together. Bless sons to be like women and daughters to be like and men. While there is an importance in having same-sex role models, it is extremely limiting to accept the boundary division of the traditional blessings. Most women have at times modeled themselves on and learned from male role models, familial and historical (sometimes we had to if we aspired to careers or scholarship.) If men in the past haven't modeled themselves on women role models, one would hope that boys growing up today would be raised in an environment where such learning are encouraged. One does not have to be a parent in order to give blessings or a child to receive them. Widen the circle of who gives and receives blessings. Instead of blessing a child or adult to be like someone they may not aspire to be like at all, let the recipient of the blessing be an active participant in her own blessing. Have her suggest a person she admires and then use that historical or biblical figure as part of the blessing. By creating a blessing this way you honor the person who your child (or other recipient of blessing) actually is rather than simply projecting on to them an idea of who you would like them to become. Let her know that she already in some way exhibits the qualities of the person she has indicated as a role model. In this way your blessing will make her aware of the inner strength and beauty she already possesses as opposed to making comparisons with lofty figures she might feel she could never really emulate. For a longer version of this piece see Ma'yan's Spring 1998 edition of Journey available at www.mayan.org -Top- [ Home ] [ Culture ] [ Families ] [ Jewish Celebrations ] [ Lifestyles ] [ Sign up for our e-letter ] [ Refer This Site ] [ Privacy Policy ] [ About Us ] [ Site Map ] [ Contact Us ] [ Yossi's blog @ peoplehood.org ] Copyright 1996-2007 Jewish Family & Life! All Rights Reserved.