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by Rabbi Bradley Shavit Artson
Dear Rabbi,
I have just recently embraced Judaism after years of Secular/Pagan life. I am learning all the things that my mother didn't teach me, and I have a problem I really haven't seen addressed here. I have three children, ages 7, 15 and 18. How does one make the transition from a secular Christmas to a spiritual Hanukkah? The 18-year-old is not a
problem, but the other two, who are my nieces and have lived with me for four years, are going to find it a bumpy road. And yet, my heart and concience says that for me to celebrate Christmas now would be a fraud. This is a BIG transition. Any advice?
Julie (from Hanukkah discussion group on Jewishfamily.com)
Dear Julie,
"Kol hat'khalot kashot, all beginnings are difficult" says Rashi, a great medieval rabbi. Transitioning from a secular life into one of piety and faith is a challenge for the best of families, and for most of us it is close to overwhelming. Fortunately, the rewards outweigh the difficulties. So let me begin by encouraging you to persevere. Judaism is a magnificent philosophy and way of life, infused with holiness and beauty. Keep on the path!
As for your children, I would recommend a dual approach. You need to level with your children about WHY it is no longer appropriate to celebrate Christmas. Then I would boost Hanukkah in any way you can: blue and white lights, lots of gifts, beautiful hanukkiyot (Hanukkah menorahs), songs, family gatherings, the whole nine yards. As you fill your year with Jewish festivals and holy days (starting with Shabbat each week, and including Rosh Hashanah, Sukkot, Purim, Passover and all the rest), you will find that your life is so rich with celebrations that you don't need a non-Jewish one in December.
I hope this helps. Best wishes for a Shanah Tovah, Happy New Year,
God Bless,
Rabbi Artson